Rochester Weather

Omg I hate the weather. I hate rain. It's so cold and wet and it gets me sick. I would rather have snow than rain. I know it's Rochester and it's a mess but can we at least have another month of good weather. I'm not ready to put on big heavy boots,winter coats, wear scarves, and gloves. It all seems a little to soon. Every time I sneeze tis yellow mucus comes out and it is so disgusting, it always leaves me congested. As though I can't breath through my nose or smell. It's one of the worst feeling because soon you start to talk funny. Ever heard someone talk and you knew right off the back that they were sick and had a stuffy nose. Well that's me and I work at Wegmans so I have to do a lot of talking.

Another thing I hate about the rain is that it's just so wet. It's cold and it messes up your hair. Than you have to carry around this huge umbrella and hope you don't misplace it. And if you are caught in the rain without an umbrella ten you're pretty much screwed. And it happened to me more than a few times. Just for the record you cannot look cute in the rain. You can do a little in the winter but in the rain it's impossible. Unless you have a car you're walking in school looking a zombie or bum that needs a bad hair job. LoL.

With this being said I hope it snow on Christmas because Christmas isn't Christmas if it doesn't. Besides being showered with gift.

Senior Projects

This I see a lot of seniors working so hard for their senior project. I know that it is serious and everything but I mean they stressing bout it. And I think a lot of juniors are failing to realize that it's going to be them next year. It's going to me next year. I'm going to be the one stressing over a senior project in order to graduate. It seems like it's so far away and also to soon to be true(quite difficult to understand but its so true).

When my time comes for my senior project I want to get my CFR training. It is kind of like getting you EMT certificate but it's first responder. I already have my CPR certificate but I will be renewing it and learning how to work an AED and take blood pressure. I think its going to be fun and challenging. I just hope I come through with it because it will help me in a lot of ways. Riding in an ambulance in process as one of the responders is something everyone doesn't experience.

Some people that I admire for trying so hard with their senior projects are Qunicy, Milan, Leslie, Kayla, Anqesha, Andriana, and Jasmine Alston. I see them working towards their goals and I have faith in them. I know that they are going to graduate.

Drama

Drama. Drama. Drama. Drama is everywhere you look. It doesn't matter which position you play. You could be the beauty that everyone hates on or the one who does all the hating. It doesn't matter because it's going to follow you. Throughout life you are going to be challenged with all kinds of battles. It depends on what the outcomes become and how long these battles last. DEB told me that life it 5% what happens to you and 95% how you react to it. I had to really sit back and work out different scenarios in my head about that quote. About if I was rich or if I was poor. About if I went to this school or went to another. Or if I was black or white. All had different outcomes. In my scenarios I would picture someone at this school picking a fight with a well known aggressive girl in this school. They want to fight over a boy. I would picture how easy it is to fight her. Then picture someone else in like a Pittsburgh school. How if someone wanted to fight over a boy how that person can easily look at that person as if he/she was so insecure. How that they wouldn't fight over something so immature and would rather tell someone. It makes a difference.

Someone told me before that even the dirtiest n**** on the block has a hater. Meaning that you could be dirty of all dirty and people are still going to hate you. Hate you because you exist and is on this green earth. So when people decide to hate you and as you said (dump their garbage on you) smile, wave and walk away. At the end of the day you are who you are. Don't let no one take that from you.

Tutoring

Omg tutoring these kids is such a challenge. Like now I finally understand what teachers go through. You know how its said that you dont know what that person is going though until your in that person shoes. Well I get it. From calming us down, to having the patients for us, and making assignments. It's to much.! It makes me not even want to have kids.

They are hard headed and dont listen. Always complaining and making excuses. I mean I know I do it but damn I be ready to choke these kids. Money must be good for you guys or yall just plain crazy lol. With this being said I'll try to make it easier lol. See how well that works out.

Getting a new phone

I love my new phone!. It's like so much better than my old one. I used to have the old old one form like 1880. It was a flip phone that couldn't even go on the internet. What phones don't go on the internet now a days?. All phones go on the internet and I was stuck with that one. But my new one was almost two hundred dollars all together. And that's the most I have ever paid for a phone. So I have to be extra careful with it because I usually lose my phones. I don't know why but I usually lose them then get another. i think it's because it's so easy to replace the cheap ugly phones but if I lose this one. It will be replaced with an ugly cheap phone because it's to much money. But this one I'm not going to replace it so easily. Its going to take a couple of weeks and some help from mom. Maybe if my job gave me like a six dollar raise because of how awesome I am I could afford stuff more easily lol. I'm playing though because I love my job and it pays well to.

My dream vacation...

My dream vacation would be me going to Africa. I want to go with someone I'm in love with. It doesn't matter if we won't be together in the future but just for the vacation. Just for the vacation we could be in love and enjoy our time together. I want to explore all the ancient artifacts in Africa. Visit museums and interact with the people. I want to climb some of there famous mountains and go hiking in the most beautiful places. I want to do something I never done before. eat things I never taste before rather I like it or not. It would be something new that I could only do once in a life time.

This would be my dream vacation. No worry, no stress from others it's just all about me. My dream vacation is out of the ordinary but it's what I want to do not anyone else. However, it would be a dream forever because it's going to be turned into a reality. A mission to accomplish before I die.

If I could change one thing about society it would be....

If I could change one thing about society it would be teenage pregnancy and STDs. I hate the fact that teenage girls are just popping, out babies like it's nothing now a days. It's like it's cool or something. I just wish we had more self respect for ourselves and didn't just let people use and abuse us. it's just contagious and absurd. That's hard to explain but it's literally both. Contagious because once one person have one another thinks it's okay. Like she could do it and still be able to party plus have someone to love me and also keep me tied down to this dude that I think I love then why can't I do it. Like that's exactly what it seems like to me. I have many close friends and relatives that are pregnant of already have a baby. At first they were okay with it now they see how hard it really is. They just let their parents take care f them and leave. But I won't lie some people love it. Like my sister only 17 and happy because it seems as though she has a family. Something most people are less fortunate to have. But it's just something I think is for people much older like in their twenties or something.
And STDs because that's just absurd. You're 13 and stuck with an STD. That's crazy. To young to be going through that type of drama. And plus it has got so worse that everyone has to be really careful about who they have sex with no matter what age. I mean what you can contract can be deadly. So yeah we all need to get it together and fast.

One crazy experience with AMANDA!!!

First things first. Never! Never ever ever Never go walking downtown with Amanda in the winter!

Ok we was walking downtown from school one nice cold day. It was snowy outside and the street was covered in black ice. So it was slippery. Me and hr was walking to criKet by liberty pole to go pay a phone bill. So we just laughing and playing. When we get to Main and Clinton mad people was down there because school just let out. So the light changed and we about to cross the street.

Next thing I know I felt someone foot come in front of me and trip me. me and Amanda fell so hard to the ground. I guess she lost her balance on the black ice and her foot tripped me. So now we both trying to get up while in the street. Did I mention that it's black ice everywhere so it's hard to get up. My hat flew off my head and we are stopping traffic, plus did I tell you that mad people was down there. It was embarrassing. After that day I told myself that I will never never ever ever cross the street downtown with Amanda again. She tripped me LoL.!.

Life Stress

Life brings a lot of stress. And it brings a lot of happiness. Sometimes it is very difficult to balance the stress out in your life with the happiness. Most times one takes over the other whether it's for the better or worse. Everyone experiences these changes. I know for a fact I do. Sometimes I'm just so happy, extra nice, and just plain in a good mood. It might last for hours, days, or even weeks. Other times I'm down even for reasons I can't explain. I may just walk down the street and start crying. It happened to many times. The stress that life brings can be so unbearable sometimes that you just have to let it out.

There are times when I can feel myself holding in the pain. Smiling when I feel like crying and just simply not showing my emotions. This could be for the good and the bad. I know it's not good to hold in your feelings and its not good to wear them on your sleeves to be abused. But at the moment it feels right. I personally don't know how to deal with stress. Though I have been through it so many times I still have no clue on what the right how to deal with stress may be. I walk away from problems that need to be solved and turn the lights off. Literally I would go in my room and shut everyone out and blast my music in the dark. I would make up my own world in my head. A world I always dreamt of to come true. I would end up so busy in this fairytale I would fall asleep.

Relationships

Relationships are the most intimaite and emotional experiences in a person's life. At least that's what I believe. If you look around that's all you see and hear about. It's what our culture has become about. Love and affection. It's not a bad thing to be in a relationship. It's just the choices you make that makes them bad. Sex is promoted way to much in relationships. That's what's wrong. Like my sister told me something that I would never forget. And by the way she's a year older than me but she admitted that she's jealous. Not only of me but of the pretty smart girls that are doing good with their lives and that boys just love.She because I'm pretty and smart and have a job. Plus Ronnie loves me. Now let me tell you about her. You have read my entry about me and my sisters used to treat guys. If you didn't yet then you're going to later because I posted it. but anyway I never had sex with any of them. Actually to tell you the truth I'm still a virgin. Not saying that I'm innocent or anything because I'm not. I tried a couple times before but it just didn't work. I mean if it would of worked those times I tries, I'm afraid I'll be in her position right now. Thats' why I just don't think about sex.
But anyway she used to have sex with the dudes. So when she told me the only thing she was good for was laying on her back with her legs open I almost basically cried with her. it hurt so bad to hear those words come from someone I loved so much. But what hurt the most was that part of it was true and she really believed that. That's why I'm trying to stay a virgin for as long as I can.

My Favorite Quotes...

I have a lot of favorite quotes. I love quotes. When I get older and have my own place I want my house to be filled with them. You know to have them just hanging up on the walls with plenty of pictures.

"No man is worth your tears, and the one that is isn't worth your tears"-Gabriel Gracia

-I love this one. Even though it's hard to follow it. You see yourself running right back to the person that made you cry. Thinking that they would bring no more tears. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. Relationships are not all roses, there is pain involved.

"I always knew looking back on my tears would bring me laughter, but I never knew looking back on my laughter would bring me tears"-Cat Stevens

-This one I had to think a lot on. When I sit back and think I do laugh at the times when I did stupid things. Or when I cried over things that makes no sense now. It seems like what was I thinking back then. It took me awhile to understand what he meant by crying over the things that you laughed at before. Only thing I could think about is when you laugh at something evil and wasn't suppose to laugh at. Example: Teased someone and next thing you know they died. Or a relationship that you enjoyed so much. But it brought you so many tears. All that laughter and you still ended up hurt.

"One of the hardest things in life is watching someone you love, love someone else"-Unknown Author

Marriage

Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. Which means only people in loved should get married. Not puppy love either. Puppy love is what you get when you meet your first boyfriend or girlfriend. Or when you say you love someone when you only meet them for a week or so. It's the love you feel at first sight when your young however, it doesn't last forever. If you are 16 or 17 you can get married with your parent's consent.I don't think this should be right. If you are 16 you are to young to get married. You are most likely still living in your parents, still in high school, and don't even have a mind of your own. You can be taken advantage of. Marriage should take place in the late twenties o the thirties.

I also believe that LBGT should be able to marry and fall in love too. But still not at such a young age. Transgender people have to get a new birth certificate indicating their new gender to then be able to marry the opposite sex. Interesting fact.

If I didn't attend School Without Walls?.......

If I didn't attend School Without Walls.....

If I didn't attend this school I don't know where I would be right now. Many of us might not show it(me) butI love this school. I really do. Honesty speaking, I'm so much better here. There are so many oppurtunities that I took advantage of that I probably wouldn't have if I was at another school.

I'm passing all of my classes. I have been since the 7th grade. I haven't failed one marking period. That's so good for me considering my temper. You might not see it (because I never really have to show that side of me) but I'm really short tempered. Even though I put up with much and take in a lot I have my moments. I could only imagine if I went to Franklin, Marshall, Charlotte, or Wilson with my brothers, sisters, and cousins. I would show out that's what I would do. Not to brag or anything but, I'm like the most responsible person in my close family. Even more than some of the adults and that's kind of said. I'm going to school everyday, have two jobs. getting good grades, and I basically take care of my household. I have dreams.

Even me hanging around the wrong crowd for to long can put me on a diffeent path. At this school I'm able to concentrate and focus on what I have to do to succeed. Nnot only to get out of school. But even my life afterschool. So thanks!. More about my life than you ever knew!