Self Pride

Self-pride is your sense of your own value or worth as a person. It is how much you like, accept, approve, and respect yourself. You can recognize yourself as worthy and capable of loving and being loved. Or, your self-pride can be the biggest stumbling block to living the successful, happy life you want to live. Self-pride effects how you act in every situation, what you say and do, and how your feel about yourself. It is a continuous influence on your perception of life.

I didn't write that but I love it. It's so true. You have to know your worth. Do not let another make that decision for you. Why? because then you are cheating yourself. Your robbing yourself of your own self pride. How can you love someone else if you don't how much love to receive in return. I heard this quote before, "The worst feeling is to love someone that doesn't love you"-Forgot the author.

However, that's what you could be doing if you don't know your own worth. This could effect all you action and situations. It will destroy you if you let it. So don't let it! Your self pride doesn't go away. It's instilled in you. Think about it.

Anger

A poem I wrote a few weeks ago. When I found it today I was so shocked. I didn't remember writing it at first, but then I thought about it and remembered. It scared me because I sounded so angry. Things were just on overload in my life and I expressed through words. I wanted to share it with you. I really don't know why but I am. I mean everyone has there breaking point and con't bear the load anymore. So now you can witness mine however, in words.

I'm mad,

I'm frustrated,

But who could I blame?

Myself. Because I'm the one who's living this pain,

I'm tired of being hurt,

I'm tired of being burnt,

I'm tired of being used,

I'm tired of being used when I don't deserve to,

But I'm not blaming you,

I'm blaming me,

I'm not taking my anger out on you, I'm taking it out on me,

Can't you see,

Your the one that's still all smiles,

I'm the one walking around with this fucked up frown,

I'm tired of this shit,

I don't like waking up in the morning,

I just want to quit.

Sorry for the curse words.

My Room.!.

If I could design one room in my house that would only suite my needs it would be....

I have always dreamt of a room that fit all of my needs. A room where it was only about me. I would picture all the walls baby blue and pink. Many pictures of myself, and loved ones on the wall. However, right in the center it would be my most beautiful portrait. The bigger and brightest picture on the wall.

I love music so I would have a stereo with all my favorite cds already programmed in it. In the exact order I wanted them. So the music was suite the mood I'm in throughout the day. Also it would be neat. All the time. No dirty clothes on the floor or empty chip bags. Clean and neat.

There would be my name printed in pink on one of my walls. It will be in fine print and nice and big. Also I would want my own personal bathroom in my room. It will be ornated to fit my taste. And my closet would be full with all my favorite snacks. It will never run out or become empty. Weird but that's the room I always dreamed of to suite all of my needs. Nw give me it lol!

The way people think???

Sometimes I just sit back and wonder why people think the way they do. I bet people think the same thing about me. Why does that girl at such a young age think the way she does? However, I don't know if it's my environment or if it's people in general. It seems to me that most people look at their lives like they are victims in a vicious world. Not as superior authors of their own greatness. Living day by day under what someone else rules and expectations is you playing the victim Think about it, do you set out expectations for them to follow and go by everyday. I'm not saying that a 9-5 job and living day by day is not right but it's boring. Show your true identity. Live for yourself. Not for what society tells you. I'm tired of great people hiding their true identities under their own insecurities"-Abidicus

Another great one.

"You can't change someone's mind, but you can change the way they think and their perspective on life as a whole"-Takara Newsome

A poem I wrote recently:

Life is full of laughs and cries,

Life is full of pain,

Life is the beginning of when someone dies,

Life can drive you insane,

Life is where you find love,

Life is where you hate,

Life is the only form of living I could think of,

Life is where you find your soul mate,

Life is where you have wants,

Life is where you have needs,

Life only comes around once for you and me.

Life is where you find the smartest,

Life is where you find the bravest,

Life is where you find the finest,

Life is where you find the craziest,

Life is where you find yourself,

Life is when you first learn to see,

Life is where only some help,

Life only comes around once for you and me.

A New Law???

What if there was a new law that stated people couldn't speak against government officials?

If there was a new law that stated that people couldn't speak against law officials they might as well start building bigger jails and correctional facilities. It was be a preposterous law and would start many riots. Why? Because every voice needs to be heard. Not one person on this planet is 100% perfect. No one knows absolutely everything that is there to know. We as a whole developed this world. And we as a whole live in this planet together. So every voice needs to be heard. Not just one person because they're living on a higher salary than the rest of us.

And if people couldn't speak against government officials then that would mean they would get away with so much dirt it won't be able to fit under the rug anymore. The law system is already corrupted and that would make it worse. It's bad enough they do dirt and is able to get away with it. This would turn our society upside down. So it is a very bad decision to even attempt to pass such a law. That should be a charge of attempted murder to society in the first degree.

15 Things I Would Like To Know

The top 15 things I would like to know

1. Will scientist ever find a cure to HIV/AIDs?

2. Where do people go when they die?

3. Why do some people just seem to not care about themselves? Do they mean to or is something wrong with how their brain works?

4. What is love? How do you know when someone is the right one?

5. Is there somebody in this world for everybody?

6. What makes people commit sucide?

7. How old will I be when I get pregnant?

8. How old will I live until?

9. Why doesn't everyone has your best interest at heart?

10. How would the new "generation" impact this world?

11. If my mother could go back in time, would she still decide to have her kids at such a young age? Would she change her future while also changing her kids? Would she still have choose to have a baby by my father?

12. Will my family ever go back to being the same?

13. I try hard to reach my goal but will it ever be accomplished?

14. Is it possible carry the world on your shoulders and still walk with your head high?

15. Will I marry Ronnie Terrel Jones?

Life Skills

Life- the course of existence or sum of experiences and actions that constitutes a person's existence.

Skill- the ability to do something well.

So what is life skills? Is it the ability to live long enough to have experiences throughout a person'e existence. Or is it the ability to exist and have experiences of all things that you do well?

I believe as long as someone is breathing on this big blue and green they have life skills. They are surviving. No matter what they went through in life and no matter how long they have been on this Earth. They have life skills. Not saying that some have better life skills than others but everyone has them. Because everyone life tells a different story, people develop stronger life skills than others. Some people have struggled harder than other. And some people laughed harder than others. It all depends on what you have been through. Overall we all have life skills.

A Bad Choice of Mine

One bad choice of mine that I will never forget is when I let someone take advantage of me for the very first time. I didn't know what to do. I just let them take over me and use me. I regret this dearly because it seems as though I opened the threshold. I'm still to this day trying to close it. Once you let something happen once, they expect for it to happen again and again. After times of it happening it's practicly impossible to stop it.

If I could just go back and change what happened I would. It might seem like why can't she just stand up for herself and speak what's need to be spoke. But it's hard and you can't see that looking from the outside in. I am a very strong person and would say is well spoken but I'm not perfect. I'm instilled with fear however, not of them but, with myself.

"The key to change.....is to let go of fear"- Rosanne Cash

Money

List everything that comes to your mind about money.

I think too many believe that money is that is needed to have a good life. Money is not everything, it is a contributor to having a good life. Money cannot bring happiness into a relationship or always make your life greener on the other side. It's what you do with your resources and how you let life effect you that determines how good your life is.

Money is like a disaster to this world in many ways. However, it is also a solution to many problems. It has pros and cons like every other thing in this world. It turns people against each other and makes them develop greed and distrust within themselves. How? Because people need it to survive. Everyone wants the wealthy life that is advertised on tv. Living poor is considered, living unhappy. But a lot of people seem to forget the fact that most great memories and friendships/bonds happen when people had nothing.

Of course, everyone wants money, even me. But, it's what you would scarfice for money that matters. Money isn't everything without our self-conscious money wouldn't be anything.

Benjamin Franklin once said "Money never mad a man happy yet, nor will it. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vaccum, it makes one."

Rose Colored Glass

"It hurts to love someone and not be loved back in return, but what is most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to tell them how you feel"- Unknown Author

If I had to select a song that described the way I felt today it would rose colored glass by Kelly Rowland. She sings how everyone looks at her relationship with her boyfriend as perfect. They say "You guys are such a great couple" and "You're meant to be together". However, that it's not like that at all. It's a lot of pain and drama that she goes through that people don't notice.

That's exactly how I feel with Ronnie. A lot of people say we should get back together and should work it out but, it's so much going on. So much I have been through with him that makes no type of sense. Why? Because I feel that I love him. As the time passes that feeling starts to disintegrate. It's so hard to move on but I have to for the both of us. I have a life ahead of me and he does to but, my goals are totally different from his.

It seems like as you get older and have that sense of mind of your own you change. You change for either the better of for the worse. At that point of time it's difficult to tell those from each other. You start to separate from the crowd you always knew and start to no longer recognize and go down your own path. That's what it is like with me and Ronnie. Yes he's there but in the distance. And as we keep going down our separate paths he becoming more distant. Then, finally he's gone.