Everything is impossible until somebody does it

I love this because it's true and inspirational. It's makes you want to do the impossible. Like proving that humans can rally fly or something.

When you really sit and think about it everything was considered impossible at one point in time. Even right now. Look atat what we are using to blog. Computers. At a point in absurde people thought the invention on computers were absurd. Until somebody proved it otherwise. So thats we have to do. Prove against the impossible. Just like that poem the rose that grew from the concrete. Nobody expects for such a beautiful rose to grow from such a hard place. It went passed the expectations of society.

Just like the rose we must do the impossible and make it possible. Everything that is believed isn't true.

My Christmas List

1. Jewelry ( earrings and bracelets, name plated necklace)

2. Hat, Scarf, and Glove set

3. Sneaker and boots. (Snow Boots)

4. Clothes

5. Asian Booty Lol

6. Under Clothes

7. Ipod

8. Digital Camera

9. Nails and hair done

10. Candy(chocolate)

11. Money

12. Family Time and Ice cream Cake!!!

The Step Jam Tickets

Omg I had such a hard time getting the Step Jam Tickets it doesn't make any sense. Okay first of all it was cold ass hell. Then okay I went to get the tickets and only had forty dollars. I was suppose to get my ticket my mom, and two of my brothers and the tickets were ten each. So I had just enough. However, tickets were going to go up to twenty dollars each later that day but they wasn't telling like what time, they were going to go up. And my cousin wanted me to buy her a ticket and she was going to give the money later. I didn't have enough and I knew that if I went home and came back that they probably would go up on the prices. So I brought the four tickets. Went home and got the money and everything and went right back three hours went by. I came back with my mom because she wanted to buy my youngest brother a ticket. And you could guess what happened. The tickets were twenty dollars. Only three hours passed so I was pissed. Anyway we brought the tickets and the end of the story is my cousin never paid me the other ten. It's okay though because that's what happens when you do people favors.
However, the Step Jam went down and I had lots of fun. Seen a lot of people there and meet a lot of knew cuties. So it was worth it because it has been a long time since my family went to a fun event together. Mom enjoyed it and wants to go next year. So hopefully next year we will be a lot more organized.

My life

I don't know why but I'm in the mood right now to talk all about my life and the experiences I've had. I know I'm still young and have probably seen nothing yet but I do have experiences. Okay first off my family is crazy and different. I don't have the usual ordinary loving family. Point blank period. I'll start with my dad side. THEY ARE ALL LITERALLY STUCK UP!! LITERALLY. And the thing is all of the aren't even actually rich. Well I shouldn't say rich just wealthy with money. I mean they don't have to go through the drama of having their lights turned off or struggling for rent some months. I mean one of my uncles live in California in a mansion. Deb when I day a mansion with everything in it I mean it. I mean of course you would never know because they are so stuck up. They moved away once they got rich. My grandmother is a doctor. My dad mother is a doctor Deb. Married to a rich lawyer. She has nothing to do with us. Nothing on Christmas, nothing on birthdays, or just no random phone calls to see how we are doing. I mean I used to feel terrible about it but now I'm used to it and just call it life. Now do you get it. Why I try so hard. Why I'm trying to get myself together and take care of my family. I don't want want to turn out like them but I'm not going to be no bum either. I'm going to go to college (University of Rochester) and make something of myself. Show all the people that had no hope in me that I'm not just some annoying family member with nothing going for herself and likely to get pregnant before graduation. No that's not going to be me. It's to important to me to just give up and let them win. Family or not I'm going to do me. I'm going to finish my next entry on family because I got a little carried away. LoL

Mooch Leaving

I am so depressed about Ronnie leaving. I really do love him even though we go through some trouble some times. However, you must go through the bad sometimes in a relationship to enjoy the good times even more. He was the first boy, the first Deb who I really looked to a serious relationship with. I don't know if you believe me or not but I didn't used to be like that. I didn't really care about boys. I just used to use them. Seriously for what they had. If they had a car I would use them for rides. Me and all my sisters would use them and only call them when we wanted something and talk to like five boys at a time. Not taking none of them seriously. LoL. Those used to be the days. We would call one boy and if he didn't do what we wanted we would act lie we mad at him and as if he really meant something. But the second we hung up with him it was on to the next. It might not seem true but it is. And Ronnie really changed me. I mean I was always mature and I guess that's what guys like in girls. But like he opened my eyes to many things and he was one of the only boys I never cheated on. I stayed faithful to him for a whole year.
Can you imagine that? A girl that's so used to having more than one boyfriend for so long suddenly settling down for one. And out of all the boys in the world Ronnie Jones. He's not good looking and most girls aren't attractive to him. I had fine boyfriends but none of them compare to Ronnie. So to have him gone so sudden hurts. It feels like someone just played a cruel joke on me.

Rochester Weather

Omg I hate the weather. I hate rain. It's so cold and wet and it gets me sick. I would rather have snow than rain. I know it's Rochester and it's a mess but can we at least have another month of good weather. I'm not ready to put on big heavy boots,winter coats, wear scarves, and gloves. It all seems a little to soon. Every time I sneeze tis yellow mucus comes out and it is so disgusting, it always leaves me congested. As though I can't breath through my nose or smell. It's one of the worst feeling because soon you start to talk funny. Ever heard someone talk and you knew right off the back that they were sick and had a stuffy nose. Well that's me and I work at Wegmans so I have to do a lot of talking.

Another thing I hate about the rain is that it's just so wet. It's cold and it messes up your hair. Than you have to carry around this huge umbrella and hope you don't misplace it. And if you are caught in the rain without an umbrella ten you're pretty much screwed. And it happened to me more than a few times. Just for the record you cannot look cute in the rain. You can do a little in the winter but in the rain it's impossible. Unless you have a car you're walking in school looking a zombie or bum that needs a bad hair job. LoL.

With this being said I hope it snow on Christmas because Christmas isn't Christmas if it doesn't. Besides being showered with gift.

Senior Projects

This I see a lot of seniors working so hard for their senior project. I know that it is serious and everything but I mean they stressing bout it. And I think a lot of juniors are failing to realize that it's going to be them next year. It's going to me next year. I'm going to be the one stressing over a senior project in order to graduate. It seems like it's so far away and also to soon to be true(quite difficult to understand but its so true).

When my time comes for my senior project I want to get my CFR training. It is kind of like getting you EMT certificate but it's first responder. I already have my CPR certificate but I will be renewing it and learning how to work an AED and take blood pressure. I think its going to be fun and challenging. I just hope I come through with it because it will help me in a lot of ways. Riding in an ambulance in process as one of the responders is something everyone doesn't experience.

Some people that I admire for trying so hard with their senior projects are Qunicy, Milan, Leslie, Kayla, Anqesha, Andriana, and Jasmine Alston. I see them working towards their goals and I have faith in them. I know that they are going to graduate.

Drama

Drama. Drama. Drama. Drama is everywhere you look. It doesn't matter which position you play. You could be the beauty that everyone hates on or the one who does all the hating. It doesn't matter because it's going to follow you. Throughout life you are going to be challenged with all kinds of battles. It depends on what the outcomes become and how long these battles last. DEB told me that life it 5% what happens to you and 95% how you react to it. I had to really sit back and work out different scenarios in my head about that quote. About if I was rich or if I was poor. About if I went to this school or went to another. Or if I was black or white. All had different outcomes. In my scenarios I would picture someone at this school picking a fight with a well known aggressive girl in this school. They want to fight over a boy. I would picture how easy it is to fight her. Then picture someone else in like a Pittsburgh school. How if someone wanted to fight over a boy how that person can easily look at that person as if he/she was so insecure. How that they wouldn't fight over something so immature and would rather tell someone. It makes a difference.

Someone told me before that even the dirtiest n**** on the block has a hater. Meaning that you could be dirty of all dirty and people are still going to hate you. Hate you because you exist and is on this green earth. So when people decide to hate you and as you said (dump their garbage on you) smile, wave and walk away. At the end of the day you are who you are. Don't let no one take that from you.

Tutoring

Omg tutoring these kids is such a challenge. Like now I finally understand what teachers go through. You know how its said that you dont know what that person is going though until your in that person shoes. Well I get it. From calming us down, to having the patients for us, and making assignments. It's to much.! It makes me not even want to have kids.

They are hard headed and dont listen. Always complaining and making excuses. I mean I know I do it but damn I be ready to choke these kids. Money must be good for you guys or yall just plain crazy lol. With this being said I'll try to make it easier lol. See how well that works out.

Getting a new phone

I love my new phone!. It's like so much better than my old one. I used to have the old old one form like 1880. It was a flip phone that couldn't even go on the internet. What phones don't go on the internet now a days?. All phones go on the internet and I was stuck with that one. But my new one was almost two hundred dollars all together. And that's the most I have ever paid for a phone. So I have to be extra careful with it because I usually lose my phones. I don't know why but I usually lose them then get another. i think it's because it's so easy to replace the cheap ugly phones but if I lose this one. It will be replaced with an ugly cheap phone because it's to much money. But this one I'm not going to replace it so easily. Its going to take a couple of weeks and some help from mom. Maybe if my job gave me like a six dollar raise because of how awesome I am I could afford stuff more easily lol. I'm playing though because I love my job and it pays well to.

My dream vacation...

My dream vacation would be me going to Africa. I want to go with someone I'm in love with. It doesn't matter if we won't be together in the future but just for the vacation. Just for the vacation we could be in love and enjoy our time together. I want to explore all the ancient artifacts in Africa. Visit museums and interact with the people. I want to climb some of there famous mountains and go hiking in the most beautiful places. I want to do something I never done before. eat things I never taste before rather I like it or not. It would be something new that I could only do once in a life time.

This would be my dream vacation. No worry, no stress from others it's just all about me. My dream vacation is out of the ordinary but it's what I want to do not anyone else. However, it would be a dream forever because it's going to be turned into a reality. A mission to accomplish before I die.

If I could change one thing about society it would be....

If I could change one thing about society it would be teenage pregnancy and STDs. I hate the fact that teenage girls are just popping, out babies like it's nothing now a days. It's like it's cool or something. I just wish we had more self respect for ourselves and didn't just let people use and abuse us. it's just contagious and absurd. That's hard to explain but it's literally both. Contagious because once one person have one another thinks it's okay. Like she could do it and still be able to party plus have someone to love me and also keep me tied down to this dude that I think I love then why can't I do it. Like that's exactly what it seems like to me. I have many close friends and relatives that are pregnant of already have a baby. At first they were okay with it now they see how hard it really is. They just let their parents take care f them and leave. But I won't lie some people love it. Like my sister only 17 and happy because it seems as though she has a family. Something most people are less fortunate to have. But it's just something I think is for people much older like in their twenties or something.
And STDs because that's just absurd. You're 13 and stuck with an STD. That's crazy. To young to be going through that type of drama. And plus it has got so worse that everyone has to be really careful about who they have sex with no matter what age. I mean what you can contract can be deadly. So yeah we all need to get it together and fast.

One crazy experience with AMANDA!!!

First things first. Never! Never ever ever Never go walking downtown with Amanda in the winter!

Ok we was walking downtown from school one nice cold day. It was snowy outside and the street was covered in black ice. So it was slippery. Me and hr was walking to criKet by liberty pole to go pay a phone bill. So we just laughing and playing. When we get to Main and Clinton mad people was down there because school just let out. So the light changed and we about to cross the street.

Next thing I know I felt someone foot come in front of me and trip me. me and Amanda fell so hard to the ground. I guess she lost her balance on the black ice and her foot tripped me. So now we both trying to get up while in the street. Did I mention that it's black ice everywhere so it's hard to get up. My hat flew off my head and we are stopping traffic, plus did I tell you that mad people was down there. It was embarrassing. After that day I told myself that I will never never ever ever cross the street downtown with Amanda again. She tripped me LoL.!.

Life Stress

Life brings a lot of stress. And it brings a lot of happiness. Sometimes it is very difficult to balance the stress out in your life with the happiness. Most times one takes over the other whether it's for the better or worse. Everyone experiences these changes. I know for a fact I do. Sometimes I'm just so happy, extra nice, and just plain in a good mood. It might last for hours, days, or even weeks. Other times I'm down even for reasons I can't explain. I may just walk down the street and start crying. It happened to many times. The stress that life brings can be so unbearable sometimes that you just have to let it out.

There are times when I can feel myself holding in the pain. Smiling when I feel like crying and just simply not showing my emotions. This could be for the good and the bad. I know it's not good to hold in your feelings and its not good to wear them on your sleeves to be abused. But at the moment it feels right. I personally don't know how to deal with stress. Though I have been through it so many times I still have no clue on what the right how to deal with stress may be. I walk away from problems that need to be solved and turn the lights off. Literally I would go in my room and shut everyone out and blast my music in the dark. I would make up my own world in my head. A world I always dreamt of to come true. I would end up so busy in this fairytale I would fall asleep.

Relationships

Relationships are the most intimaite and emotional experiences in a person's life. At least that's what I believe. If you look around that's all you see and hear about. It's what our culture has become about. Love and affection. It's not a bad thing to be in a relationship. It's just the choices you make that makes them bad. Sex is promoted way to much in relationships. That's what's wrong. Like my sister told me something that I would never forget. And by the way she's a year older than me but she admitted that she's jealous. Not only of me but of the pretty smart girls that are doing good with their lives and that boys just love.She because I'm pretty and smart and have a job. Plus Ronnie loves me. Now let me tell you about her. You have read my entry about me and my sisters used to treat guys. If you didn't yet then you're going to later because I posted it. but anyway I never had sex with any of them. Actually to tell you the truth I'm still a virgin. Not saying that I'm innocent or anything because I'm not. I tried a couple times before but it just didn't work. I mean if it would of worked those times I tries, I'm afraid I'll be in her position right now. Thats' why I just don't think about sex.
But anyway she used to have sex with the dudes. So when she told me the only thing she was good for was laying on her back with her legs open I almost basically cried with her. it hurt so bad to hear those words come from someone I loved so much. But what hurt the most was that part of it was true and she really believed that. That's why I'm trying to stay a virgin for as long as I can.

My Favorite Quotes...

I have a lot of favorite quotes. I love quotes. When I get older and have my own place I want my house to be filled with them. You know to have them just hanging up on the walls with plenty of pictures.

"No man is worth your tears, and the one that is isn't worth your tears"-Gabriel Gracia

-I love this one. Even though it's hard to follow it. You see yourself running right back to the person that made you cry. Thinking that they would bring no more tears. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. Relationships are not all roses, there is pain involved.

"I always knew looking back on my tears would bring me laughter, but I never knew looking back on my laughter would bring me tears"-Cat Stevens

-This one I had to think a lot on. When I sit back and think I do laugh at the times when I did stupid things. Or when I cried over things that makes no sense now. It seems like what was I thinking back then. It took me awhile to understand what he meant by crying over the things that you laughed at before. Only thing I could think about is when you laugh at something evil and wasn't suppose to laugh at. Example: Teased someone and next thing you know they died. Or a relationship that you enjoyed so much. But it brought you so many tears. All that laughter and you still ended up hurt.

"One of the hardest things in life is watching someone you love, love someone else"-Unknown Author

Marriage

Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. Which means only people in loved should get married. Not puppy love either. Puppy love is what you get when you meet your first boyfriend or girlfriend. Or when you say you love someone when you only meet them for a week or so. It's the love you feel at first sight when your young however, it doesn't last forever. If you are 16 or 17 you can get married with your parent's consent.I don't think this should be right. If you are 16 you are to young to get married. You are most likely still living in your parents, still in high school, and don't even have a mind of your own. You can be taken advantage of. Marriage should take place in the late twenties o the thirties.

I also believe that LBGT should be able to marry and fall in love too. But still not at such a young age. Transgender people have to get a new birth certificate indicating their new gender to then be able to marry the opposite sex. Interesting fact.

If I didn't attend School Without Walls?.......

If I didn't attend School Without Walls.....

If I didn't attend this school I don't know where I would be right now. Many of us might not show it(me) butI love this school. I really do. Honesty speaking, I'm so much better here. There are so many oppurtunities that I took advantage of that I probably wouldn't have if I was at another school.

I'm passing all of my classes. I have been since the 7th grade. I haven't failed one marking period. That's so good for me considering my temper. You might not see it (because I never really have to show that side of me) but I'm really short tempered. Even though I put up with much and take in a lot I have my moments. I could only imagine if I went to Franklin, Marshall, Charlotte, or Wilson with my brothers, sisters, and cousins. I would show out that's what I would do. Not to brag or anything but, I'm like the most responsible person in my close family. Even more than some of the adults and that's kind of said. I'm going to school everyday, have two jobs. getting good grades, and I basically take care of my household. I have dreams.

Even me hanging around the wrong crowd for to long can put me on a diffeent path. At this school I'm able to concentrate and focus on what I have to do to succeed. Nnot only to get out of school. But even my life afterschool. So thanks!. More about my life than you ever knew!

Self Pride

Self-pride is your sense of your own value or worth as a person. It is how much you like, accept, approve, and respect yourself. You can recognize yourself as worthy and capable of loving and being loved. Or, your self-pride can be the biggest stumbling block to living the successful, happy life you want to live. Self-pride effects how you act in every situation, what you say and do, and how your feel about yourself. It is a continuous influence on your perception of life.

I didn't write that but I love it. It's so true. You have to know your worth. Do not let another make that decision for you. Why? because then you are cheating yourself. Your robbing yourself of your own self pride. How can you love someone else if you don't how much love to receive in return. I heard this quote before, "The worst feeling is to love someone that doesn't love you"-Forgot the author.

However, that's what you could be doing if you don't know your own worth. This could effect all you action and situations. It will destroy you if you let it. So don't let it! Your self pride doesn't go away. It's instilled in you. Think about it.

Anger

A poem I wrote a few weeks ago. When I found it today I was so shocked. I didn't remember writing it at first, but then I thought about it and remembered. It scared me because I sounded so angry. Things were just on overload in my life and I expressed through words. I wanted to share it with you. I really don't know why but I am. I mean everyone has there breaking point and con't bear the load anymore. So now you can witness mine however, in words.

I'm mad,

I'm frustrated,

But who could I blame?

Myself. Because I'm the one who's living this pain,

I'm tired of being hurt,

I'm tired of being burnt,

I'm tired of being used,

I'm tired of being used when I don't deserve to,

But I'm not blaming you,

I'm blaming me,

I'm not taking my anger out on you, I'm taking it out on me,

Can't you see,

Your the one that's still all smiles,

I'm the one walking around with this fucked up frown,

I'm tired of this shit,

I don't like waking up in the morning,

I just want to quit.

Sorry for the curse words.

My Room.!.

If I could design one room in my house that would only suite my needs it would be....

I have always dreamt of a room that fit all of my needs. A room where it was only about me. I would picture all the walls baby blue and pink. Many pictures of myself, and loved ones on the wall. However, right in the center it would be my most beautiful portrait. The bigger and brightest picture on the wall.

I love music so I would have a stereo with all my favorite cds already programmed in it. In the exact order I wanted them. So the music was suite the mood I'm in throughout the day. Also it would be neat. All the time. No dirty clothes on the floor or empty chip bags. Clean and neat.

There would be my name printed in pink on one of my walls. It will be in fine print and nice and big. Also I would want my own personal bathroom in my room. It will be ornated to fit my taste. And my closet would be full with all my favorite snacks. It will never run out or become empty. Weird but that's the room I always dreamed of to suite all of my needs. Nw give me it lol!

The way people think???

Sometimes I just sit back and wonder why people think the way they do. I bet people think the same thing about me. Why does that girl at such a young age think the way she does? However, I don't know if it's my environment or if it's people in general. It seems to me that most people look at their lives like they are victims in a vicious world. Not as superior authors of their own greatness. Living day by day under what someone else rules and expectations is you playing the victim Think about it, do you set out expectations for them to follow and go by everyday. I'm not saying that a 9-5 job and living day by day is not right but it's boring. Show your true identity. Live for yourself. Not for what society tells you. I'm tired of great people hiding their true identities under their own insecurities"-Abidicus

Another great one.

"You can't change someone's mind, but you can change the way they think and their perspective on life as a whole"-Takara Newsome

A poem I wrote recently:

Life is full of laughs and cries,

Life is full of pain,

Life is the beginning of when someone dies,

Life can drive you insane,

Life is where you find love,

Life is where you hate,

Life is the only form of living I could think of,

Life is where you find your soul mate,

Life is where you have wants,

Life is where you have needs,

Life only comes around once for you and me.

Life is where you find the smartest,

Life is where you find the bravest,

Life is where you find the finest,

Life is where you find the craziest,

Life is where you find yourself,

Life is when you first learn to see,

Life is where only some help,

Life only comes around once for you and me.

A New Law???

What if there was a new law that stated people couldn't speak against government officials?

If there was a new law that stated that people couldn't speak against law officials they might as well start building bigger jails and correctional facilities. It was be a preposterous law and would start many riots. Why? Because every voice needs to be heard. Not one person on this planet is 100% perfect. No one knows absolutely everything that is there to know. We as a whole developed this world. And we as a whole live in this planet together. So every voice needs to be heard. Not just one person because they're living on a higher salary than the rest of us.

And if people couldn't speak against government officials then that would mean they would get away with so much dirt it won't be able to fit under the rug anymore. The law system is already corrupted and that would make it worse. It's bad enough they do dirt and is able to get away with it. This would turn our society upside down. So it is a very bad decision to even attempt to pass such a law. That should be a charge of attempted murder to society in the first degree.

15 Things I Would Like To Know

The top 15 things I would like to know

1. Will scientist ever find a cure to HIV/AIDs?

2. Where do people go when they die?

3. Why do some people just seem to not care about themselves? Do they mean to or is something wrong with how their brain works?

4. What is love? How do you know when someone is the right one?

5. Is there somebody in this world for everybody?

6. What makes people commit sucide?

7. How old will I be when I get pregnant?

8. How old will I live until?

9. Why doesn't everyone has your best interest at heart?

10. How would the new "generation" impact this world?

11. If my mother could go back in time, would she still decide to have her kids at such a young age? Would she change her future while also changing her kids? Would she still have choose to have a baby by my father?

12. Will my family ever go back to being the same?

13. I try hard to reach my goal but will it ever be accomplished?

14. Is it possible carry the world on your shoulders and still walk with your head high?

15. Will I marry Ronnie Terrel Jones?

Life Skills

Life- the course of existence or sum of experiences and actions that constitutes a person's existence.

Skill- the ability to do something well.

So what is life skills? Is it the ability to live long enough to have experiences throughout a person'e existence. Or is it the ability to exist and have experiences of all things that you do well?

I believe as long as someone is breathing on this big blue and green they have life skills. They are surviving. No matter what they went through in life and no matter how long they have been on this Earth. They have life skills. Not saying that some have better life skills than others but everyone has them. Because everyone life tells a different story, people develop stronger life skills than others. Some people have struggled harder than other. And some people laughed harder than others. It all depends on what you have been through. Overall we all have life skills.

A Bad Choice of Mine

One bad choice of mine that I will never forget is when I let someone take advantage of me for the very first time. I didn't know what to do. I just let them take over me and use me. I regret this dearly because it seems as though I opened the threshold. I'm still to this day trying to close it. Once you let something happen once, they expect for it to happen again and again. After times of it happening it's practicly impossible to stop it.

If I could just go back and change what happened I would. It might seem like why can't she just stand up for herself and speak what's need to be spoke. But it's hard and you can't see that looking from the outside in. I am a very strong person and would say is well spoken but I'm not perfect. I'm instilled with fear however, not of them but, with myself.

"The key to change.....is to let go of fear"- Rosanne Cash

Money

List everything that comes to your mind about money.

I think too many believe that money is that is needed to have a good life. Money is not everything, it is a contributor to having a good life. Money cannot bring happiness into a relationship or always make your life greener on the other side. It's what you do with your resources and how you let life effect you that determines how good your life is.

Money is like a disaster to this world in many ways. However, it is also a solution to many problems. It has pros and cons like every other thing in this world. It turns people against each other and makes them develop greed and distrust within themselves. How? Because people need it to survive. Everyone wants the wealthy life that is advertised on tv. Living poor is considered, living unhappy. But a lot of people seem to forget the fact that most great memories and friendships/bonds happen when people had nothing.

Of course, everyone wants money, even me. But, it's what you would scarfice for money that matters. Money isn't everything without our self-conscious money wouldn't be anything.

Benjamin Franklin once said "Money never mad a man happy yet, nor will it. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vaccum, it makes one."

Rose Colored Glass

"It hurts to love someone and not be loved back in return, but what is most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to tell them how you feel"- Unknown Author

If I had to select a song that described the way I felt today it would rose colored glass by Kelly Rowland. She sings how everyone looks at her relationship with her boyfriend as perfect. They say "You guys are such a great couple" and "You're meant to be together". However, that it's not like that at all. It's a lot of pain and drama that she goes through that people don't notice.

That's exactly how I feel with Ronnie. A lot of people say we should get back together and should work it out but, it's so much going on. So much I have been through with him that makes no type of sense. Why? Because I feel that I love him. As the time passes that feeling starts to disintegrate. It's so hard to move on but I have to for the both of us. I have a life ahead of me and he does to but, my goals are totally different from his.

It seems like as you get older and have that sense of mind of your own you change. You change for either the better of for the worse. At that point of time it's difficult to tell those from each other. You start to separate from the crowd you always knew and start to no longer recognize and go down your own path. That's what it is like with me and Ronnie. Yes he's there but in the distance. And as we keep going down our separate paths he becoming more distant. Then, finally he's gone.

Tough Choices

What Are Good Choices? What Are Bad Choices? How Do We Decide Between Them?

Everyone makes good choices and bad choices. EVERYONE! It's called being an human. The fact is that some make more good choices then bad ones and some don't. It all depends on what you make it. If noone make bad choices how would we know how to truly understand the good choices we make. Think about it. It's like, if it never rained, how could truly be thankful for the sunshine. And how will the rainbow be able to show?

You learn from your mistakes that's how you grow. Of course there are major mistakes and there are minors ones. Such as, doing drugs and getting addicted to herion or something. That's something major. However, things such as, lying to your parents about petty things or even starting a food fight in your school's cafeateria is minor.

How do you choice between good choices and bad choices. Personally I think about the worse thing that could possibily happen in both scenerios and sk myself if it's worth it or not. Soetimes they are not but, sometimes they are. You only live once so you have to make the best out of your life.

Fitting In

Trying to fit into a crowd or a group is totally normal. Everybody wants to fit in right? It makes you feel as though you're part of group and you're wanted somewhere, you're not just the third wheel. However, it is very difficult to try and force yourself to fit in someplace where you don't belong.

I remember lots of times when I didn't fit into a particular crowd or group and it made me feel unwanted. I felt as though I didn't belong and I was different. It's a terrible feeling. I was young then, and started to think that something was wrong with me. Why wasn't I good enough to fit in? Is it my hair? The way I dress? Like what was it? Then, I had to open my eyes and realize that I didn't fit in that group for a reason. That wasn't me. I belonged someplace else where the true me could shine and be comfortable doing it.

See, there are too many people trying to be who there not just to fit in. The "cool crowd" isn't always the crowd for you. Even though you want it to be. You have to be yourself and stick to it. Be honest with yourself and you will shine for being you.

" What is popular is not always right, what is right is not always popular"

Sometimes you have to let people in. Let them express themselves to you and not treat them as outcasts. Everybody doesn't have that dominate mind set of not needing to fit in. They look for someone to accept them. So it's a two way street. You can't judge a book by its cover. Get to know them and then make your decision wisely.

Martin Luther King Jr

"...injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."-Martin Luther King Jr.

I believe that means that if there is injustice happening to people to one part of the world, then
the enitre world is in jeopardy and should take notice. People should care about each other and
stand up for what's right no matter how small. For example, if you are aware of people doing
inhuman behavioryou should use your voice and speak up for all the appropriate reasons.

"One person can make a difference"

When you see inapropriate behavior taking place imagine if you were in the victim's the shoes.
Would you want to be treated like that? How would you feel if people who had the ability to
speak up for you didn't? I don't think it will feel so great. Martin Luther King couldn't have
been more when he spoke the words "Every man must decide whether he will walk in the
light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness"

True Definition Of A Good Citizen

I believe that people think just because you follow laws and dictatorship of society you are being a good citizen. But in fact, there is way more than that to become a good citizen.

To be a good citizen first you have to be a good person. You got to have morals and principles, and go sometimes out of your way to help others. When joining all these aspects together you will find out that, that's the true meaning of a good citizen.

One important thing about being a good citizen is helping people. All around us, we can see there are always people in need for our help. As a good citizen it is your job to help those in need from the kindness of your heart. Talking about people and putting others down is not being a good citizen. Also you don't make the person feel bad about needing your help because that's not the definition of truly helping someone. And when I'm talking about these people that need help I'm not talking about poor people. Poor people may be a fraction of it, however pregnant people, people with disabilities, and just people who need someone to lean on. Little actions makes big differences in people lives.

I'm not saying try and go out and save the world or go deal with everybody else drama. That's impossible and is a huge stress on yourself. Before you can help others you have to make sure that you are taking care of yourself first. How can you help someone and give them advice when your not fully stabled yourself? So just remember part of being a good citizen is also making sure that your happy to.

Do a "Secret Service"

If someone would do a secret service on me and give me a surprise anonymously I would be shocked. Immediately I would try to figure out who gave it to me. I will feel loved and as if someone cared about me, knowing that they sent me a gift. It shows that they have good feelings towards me and they like me. And it will most likely encourage me to do the same thing to someone else who is as generous.

A secret service that I did for someone leave a candy bar in my friend locker. I left a letter saying this is for being an awesome friend, your secret admirer. Everything was good I thought until she looked at it and immediately knew it was from me. Reason how she knew it was me because I'm like the only one who knows her combination to her locker. Which pretty much sucks so I messed up and found out that I'm not as clever as I thought I was. But she was grateful, enjoyed it, and kept on laughing over it. Next time I will have to leave it somewhere, where she wouldn't just she automatically know it's me.

I felt good doing it, because she is a really good friend and it made her happy so I was also. And we both ended up eating it because sharing is caring. So it was something little that made a difference in our friendship. All of this while being a good citizen.

September 11th, 2001

On September 11th, 2001 I do not remeber where I was or even what I was doing. It seem like so long ago but, it was only 9 years ago. After it happened I do remember being amazed by how the build fell so easily. It was shocking I didn't believe that it was true until I noticed everyone crying. I don't even think I cried over the gruesome event. I probably did because I was so young and you know how little kids cry everytime they see someone else crying.

I think I found out about the event by the news. The buildings falling over and over and over again like it happened multiple times. I don't believe I had any family members that was trapped in that situation. However, the event has affected my comunity terribly even years later. People cried over and over again for a long time. It took a long time for things to go back to normal as though nothing ever happened. I do remember people talking about how security was really bad everywhere after the event. I even experienced it when I went to New York, New York years later. Securtiy was still bad so you know people was still holding on to the terrible event.

If I can change one thing in America since Septmeber 11th it would be the war we are fighting now because of it. The lives that are lost additional to September 11th because we needed to place blame on someone. I would prevent that war someway so that, even though we didn't get revenge we still would have our soliders.

What Is Community Service?

Communtiy Service. Communtiy service is helping your community volunitarily. Your not being paid for it, but your giving to the community that helped raised you. Making you community better in many ways.There are many ways you can do community service in your community. You can help at a soup kitchen, helping those who are less fortunate, help at a salvation army, and just tutor those who need help. Many places need volunteers in there community to reach out.

I do a number of community services to give back. I would say the one that work the best, is the one where I'm helping the elderly at Park Ridge Hospital. Something as simple as sitting down and talking and playing games with elders is making a difference. Community service is not hard or a burden, it's just something you have to be committted for. I have had nothing but positive experiences with my community service. It makes me feel very proud of myself at the end of the day. I did something productive with my time such as being a postitve person in someone's life.

Community service is both a choice and a responsibilty. You choose whether or not your up for the job and can handle to amount of responsibilty. Community service is very poor in our country then it is in other countries I believe. We need more people here to give back and help those who are in need.

How does helping others make you feel fully human?

Helping others makes me feel fully human because it shows that I'm serving a purpose. I'm not just in it for myselp but helping others around me when they need help. Thats how you get people to help you when your down and how you gain respect. Being selfish is going to get you nowhere. I help my family, friends and others whenever I can because that's what I'm here for. So there is not just one specific person I help. Ans this has changed my self-view on myself and others. I feel guilty and uncomfortable now when I let something pass when I know I could of helped out and changed an outcome from happeneing. And now I look at others different, from the ones that help and stick around to the ones that don't.